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Signs of Being Clingy in Relationships: Needy No More

By Medina Syla

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27 June 2024

©️ cookie_studio / Freepik

So you love your partner. Like, really, really a lot. Maybe a little too much? If you find yourself needing to hide your car keys just to get some alone time, this is for you.

Love is a powerful emotion that compels us to seek connection and intimacy. But sometimes, the very intensity of our desire for closeness can morph into clinginess, unintentionally pushing our partners away. Healthy relationships thrive on a delicate balance between passionate connection and a sense of healthy independence.

How to Break Free From Signs of Being Clingy in Relationships

The Future Trip Trap:

The initial stages of a relationship are exciting, and filled with possibilities. However, if you show these signs of being clingy in relationships, constantly pressuring your partner to define the relationship, or rushing towards milestones like moving in together or getting engaged, it can feel overwhelming.

Constantly asking “What are we?”, multiple times a day, casually asking their friends for updates on your “relationship status.” bringing up the topic of marriage on every date night, and “accidentally” dropping hints about engagement rings whenever you are shopping even “Are you gonna propose?”

Signs of Being Needy in Relationships
©️ stockking / Freepik

This behavior, often called “future tripping,” stems from insecurity and a fear of the unknown. Enjoy the present moment, the shared experiences, and the blossoming connection. Trust that the relationship will naturally progress at its own pace, and focus on building a solid foundation of trust and intimacy.

The Reassurance Rollercoaster

Now this is more of a different “the future trip trap” It is more of an “I’m so insecure I need to be in your mind and know what you’re thinking”. It’s natural to seek reassurance from your partner, especially during challenging times.

However, a constant barrage of questions like “Do you love me?” or “Are you happy?” or needing a nightly phone call, even if there is nothing new to say, can create a sense of insecurity and doubt in both partners.

Signs of Being Needy in Relationships
©️ wayhomestudio / Freepik

Remember, actions speak louder than words. Pay attention to the quality of time you spend together, the effort they put into the relationship, and the way they treat you. If these aspects feel secure, trust that their love is genuine. Open and honest communication is key – if you have lingering doubts, express your feelings in a calm and assertive way.

The Green-Eyed Monster Unleashed:

Look, a tiny twinge of jealousy when my partner chats with someone attractive? Totally normal. But lately, it feels like a constant monster on my shoulder, whispering accusations and making me doubt everything.

However, if you are constantly suspicious of your partner flirting or accusing them of things they haven’t done, it creates a toxic environment filled with distrust and resentment. Deep down, it probably stems from some insecurities we haven’t dealt with, maybe from past relationships.

Signs of Being Needy in Relationships
©️ cookie_studio / Freepik

And maybe Communicate openly with your partner about any insecurities you might have, and work together to build a foundation of trust. Consider seeking professional help to address any underlying issues that might be fueling your jealousy.

The Co-Dependence Conundrum

Healthy relationships allow space for individual growth and exploration. If you find yourself needing your partner’s approval for every decision, from picking a movie to going to the gym, it’s a sign of co-dependence. This behavior can be stifling for both partners.

Maintain a healthy balance by nurturing your own life and activities – it makes you a more well-rounded and interesting person. Your partner will appreciate your independence and the sense of self you bring to the relationship.

The Activity Abandonment Trap

Spending quality time with your partner is essential, but ditching your hobbies and social circle for them sends the wrong message. It implies that your happiness relies solely on them. A healthy relationship allows space for both shared experiences and individual pursuits.

Maintain a healthy balance by nurturing your own life and activities. You will return to the relationship feeling refreshed and with new experiences to share.

©️ senivpetro / Freepik

The Boundary Blur

Scrolling through their Instagram, dissecting every like and comment… it’s a bad habit, I know. But, Constant monitoring of your partner’s phone or social media activity is a sign of insecurity and a violation of their privacy. Trust is a cornerstone of any healthy relationship.

Respect your partner’s boundaries and give them space. Open communication is key – if something is bothering you, talk to them directly and express your concerns in a respectful manner.

Taking Things Personally

This is also a sign of being clingy in a relationship because Even the most secure people need some “me time” now and then. If your partner withdraws a bit or needs some space, don’t take it as a sign they don’t love you.

Healthy relationships involve respecting each other’s need for independence. Perhaps they’re dealing with personal issues or simply need some time to recharge.

©️ wayhomestudio / Freepik

The Always-Available Trap

Being there for your partner is important, but don’t drop everything at their every beck and call. Maybe a bit too much “yes” from me is starting to breed resentment on both sides. I need to set some boundaries and let them know I can’t always drop everything.

It’s okay to have your plans and priorities. You can’t be expected to be a constant companion, and constantly being available can breed resentment. Set healthy boundaries and communicate your needs clearly. A strong, independent partner is more attractive in the long run.

The Silent Treatment Tango

The truth is, I just bottle things up until I explode. No wonder there is so much resentment and confusion between us. That is why open communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship.

©️ cookie_studio / Freepik

Instead of resorting to manipulative tactics like hinting, pouting, or giving the silent treatment, be clear and direct about your needs and feelings.

Healthily expressing your emotions allows your partner to understand you better and respond accordingly. Bottled-up emotions often lead to resentment and misunderstandings.

Fear of Flying Solo

A happy relationship shouldn’t be the only thing that makes me feel good about myself. It’s time to focus on building myself up, and on finding that sense of security within.

©️ Freepik

Sometimes neediness stems from a fear of abandonment. Work on building your self-esteem and developing a secure sense of self. A happy relationship adds to your life, not completes it.

From Signs of Being Clingy in Your Relationship to Connected

Remember, a strong relationship is built on mutual trust, respect, open communication, and a healthy dose of independence. If you find yourself exhibiting many of these signs of being clingy in relationships, take a step back and reflect on why you might feel insecure.

Consider talking to a therapist to develop healthier attachment styles and cultivate the emotional security that allows you to give and receive love freely without becoming clingy.

You might also like to read: How Can You Rebuild Trust After It Has Been Broken?

Medina Syla

I couldn't help but wonder...

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