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Long-Distance Relationships: How to Keep the Flame Alive?

By Albulena Murturi


30 January 2024

Long-Distance Relationship

©️ Freepik

Long-distance relationships are kind of like a puzzle of feelings. You know, when you really like someone, but they are far away? Well, in today’s world with all the texting and video calls, it has become a pretty common thing. It’s not always easy, though. Maintaining a relationship when you are miles away from each other is no cakewalk. The doubts, the uncertainties, the occasional “Is this worth it?” moments – we have all been there.

But fear not! This guide is all about sharing some down-to-earth advice and practical tips to not just survive but thrive in your long-distance love journey. Let’s take a closer look at what makes these long-distance relationships tick and how people make them work.

©️ Freepik

What Do People Have to Say?

We went on Reddit to see what people have to say about long-distance relationships. We found various responses from the ones who have experienced it firsthand.

Reddit User 1 shared a comment saying, “I used to think long-distance relationships were a waste of time. Before I met someone that is truly a great person and the love of my life. At first we saw each other once a month, then every other weekend. Then it was so easy.”

Another user whom we will call Reddit User 2, shared a beautiful story that goes like this:

Met on Twitter, been long distance for over 3 years, 4,000+ miles apart. Flying to see each other whenever we got the chance, talking for at least 8 hrs a day. Two days ago, we finally got married! Long-distance relationships DO WORK!

1. Always Have Something to Look Forward

Alright, let’s keep it real – the waiting game can be brutal. That is why it’s super important to have something on the horizon that both of you can look forward to. Whether it’s planning the next visit, daydreaming about shared goals, or even talking about future apartments, having a plan keeps the excitement alive.

As Reddit User 3 confesses, “Long-distance relationships, they’re not for the faint of heart….. let’s be real, long-distance is hard. It’s damn hard. It’s about facing the loneliness, the longing, the uncertainty. About missing the little things – the touch, the smell, the presence.”

2. Be Slow to Judge

Being apart can mess with our heads. Suddenly, you are a detective investigating every little detail, questioning everything. Ease up a bit! Trust is the name of the game. Instead of assuming the worst, just talk about it. Communication is your secret weapon against the crazy thoughts that distance can bring.

Reddit User 4 covered the subject of trust saying, “I’m currently in this… long distance where we haven’t closed the gap yet and it’s been 6 years. Our lives are really different, but the love, it’s strong and the same. Somedays I feel like giving up. But I trust her, just as she trusts me.”

3. You Do Not Have to Talk all the Time

We get it – life gets busy. Instead of forcing daily calls or texts, let it flow naturally. Quality over quantity, my friend. And it’s okay to have days when you just need some alone time. Remember, absence makes the heart grow fonder, not texting every five minutes.

Reddit User 5 shares, “I used to get anxious when he wouldn’t text me, but I realized that insecurity was my own problem. Some people are just poor texters — especially if they’re busy with career or don’t use technology very much.”

©️ Freepik

4. Ensure the Distance is Temporary

Hope is your BFF. Both of you need to see a future where you are not doing the long-distance cha-cha forever. Dreams of living in the same city and planning your next adventure – these things make the distance bearable. Without a shared vision, it is like navigating without a compass.

This is what Reddit User 6 had to say about this:

As much as it’s lovely to have someone who you think fits perfectly, if you don’t think there is ANY possibility that you will ever be able to live together down the road…then it’s not practical and you are wasting your time. I know that’s blunt but it’s being realistic.”

5. Embrace Technology

Thank the tech lords for bringing us closer! FaceTime, Skype, texts – use them all. Share the little things, like what you had for lunch or a goofy selfie. Technology might not replace physical closeness, but it sure helps to keep the connection real.

Reddit User 7 provided some very cool apps that couples could use to keep the relationship fun:

My gf and I have explored a lot of phone apps to help with our relationship, and our 2 favorites so far are noteit and Paired. You can use noteit to send cute little drawings or selfies to your partner, and it displays as a widget on their phone screen. Paired has deep and/or cute questions you can answer, games where you can answer questions and guess how your partner answered and see who got the most right, and check up quizzes to see how you’re feeling in certain areas of your relationship.

©️ Freepik

6. Set Clear Rules and Boundaries

Don’t let insecurities mess things up. Set some ground rules. Be transparent about social media, and respect each other’s space. Trust us, a little clarity goes a long way in preventing unnecessary drama.

We like the rules Reddit User 8 shared, and they go like this:

  • Ask. Don’t assume.”
  • If it’s not a unanimous enthusiastic “yes,” it’s a “no.” This applies in most situations.”
  • Be honest.
  • Fight fair. We discussed deal – breakers. For him it’s lying or getting the silent treatment.
  • For me it’s being yelled at or being talked down to.

7. Make Each Other a Priority

Life can be crazy, but make time for each other. If someone’s starting to pull away, talk about it. Be each other’s priority. Commit to plans, communicate openly, and make sure your partner feels cherished.

Redit User 9 shares, “We both prioritize each other and ourselves. Our well-beings matter very much to each other. I’m very lucky with my SO and our priority balances are the same and match up entirely.

8. Plan Your Next Outing While Out

Making plans for the next time you will see each other is super important in a long-distance relationship. It’s not just about having something fun to look forward to; it’s like building a little bridge between your visits. So, keeping those plans regular? It’s like adding a sprinkle of excitement and stability to the mix.

Another Reddit User 10 described how she feels about meeting after month, crediting those feelings to the long-distance:
The feeling i get at first when seeing him again in person for the first time in months- my face gets super hot, and i get intense butterflies,” she confesses. “Basically i revert back to feeling like a high schooler with a massive crush. there’s no beating that feeling, and i wouldn’t feel it if not for the distance.

©️ Freepik

So, there you have it – some real talk and handy tips for the long-distance relationship warriors out there. It’s not always a walk in the park, but with effort, commitment, and a sprinkle of humor, you can turn those miles into mere numbers. Here is to making your long-distance love story one for the books!

You may also like: Stop Second-Guessing! Here Are Signs That They Are Truly the One

Albulena Murturi

An enthusiastic learner rediscovering the joy of writing.