What Does Phubbing in Relationships Mean?

Have you ever been so focused on your phone that you unintentionally ignored your partner? If yes, you might be guilty of “phubbing in relationships.” With all of the technology available to us nowadays, it comes as no surprise that new relationship hurdles are more common.

But what does phubbing really mean for relationships? Is it just a harmless distraction or a major threat to intimacy?

What Is Phubbing?

Phubbing, coined in May 2012, refers to the act of ignoring someone in person by focusing on your phone instead. This term emerged as a response to the increasing tendency of people to prioritize their phones over face-to-face interactions, leading to campaigns like Stop Phubbing.

Although it is not commonly discussed by name, it is a frequent behavior in daily life. Research shows that over 17% of people phub others at least four times daily, with nearly 32% experiencing being phubbed two to three times daily.

Figuring Out If You Are Phubbing

The primary indicator is constant phone presence. If you feel compelled to keep your phone nearby to avoid missing calls, tweets, or updates, you are likely engaging in phubbing behavior.

You may be phubbing in a relationship if you:

• Constantly checking your phone during meals reflects a fear of missing out, a common trait associated with phubbing behaviors.
• Place your phone on the table during meals or social gatherings “just in case” can indicate upcoming phubbing behavior. Even the mere presence of a phone, without interaction, can diminish relationship connection.
• Engage in two simultaneous conversations, one on your phone and one in person. This often leads to ineffective communication, a clear sign of phubbing.

Can Phubbing Affect Relationships?

Phubbing, pervasive due to widespread smartphone ownership, disrupts presence and engagement in personal interactions. Research shows that texting during face-to-face conversations diminishes satisfaction for all parties involved, highlighting the pervasive impact of this behavior on social interactions.

Phubbing and frequent smartphone use can negatively affect marriages, leading to decreased marital satisfaction and increased conflicts. Studies have shown that spouses who engage in phubbing behaviors with each other are more likely to experience higher rates of depression.

How Can You Stop?

If the thought of giving up social media makes you anxious, you are not alone. Research suggests the urge to check social media can be stronger than other impulses. However, there are ways to manage phone use:

• Challenge yourself to reduce phone use. Track and reward periods without your phone to gradually build comfort with unplugging from social media.
• Create no-phone zones during meals to focus on face-to-face conversation. Consider using “do not disturb” mode to minimize distractions.
• Leave your phone in a designated place like your car or desk to resist constant checking. Notifications can wait.

Are you or anyone you know struggling with phubbing in relationships?

You might also want to read: Man Marries Phone, but It Is Not Why You Might Think