Yes, the Obamas Faced “Hard Times”—But They’re Built to Last

After over 30 years together, Barack and Michelle Obama finally spoke openly about the whispers of divorce and marital drift.

In a recent episode of Michelle’s IMO podcast, Barack made a playful quip that Michelle “took me back,” nodding to a rocky period, not a breakup. More significantly, Michelle confirmed she’d never once considered quitting and that they’ve weathered “hard times” as a couple.

Navigating the “Deep Deficit”

Barack himself admitted they’ve had their struggles. He called it a “deep deficit,” explaining that during his presidency and while raising their daughters, he unintentionally fell behind in their relationship. To bridge the gap, he’s been intentionally carving out time for them, bringing back date nights and moments of connection.

Decades of Ups and Downs

Michelle Obama painted an equally candid picture: “Marriage isn’t 50/50—ever, ever,” she said. Reflecting on the early years of parenthood, she lived through a decade when she “couldn’t stand” her husband because of stress and exhaustion from juggling career and motherhood. But she made it clear: those tough years were worth it. “I would take 10 bad years over 30,” she emphasized.

Intentional Choices, Not Distance

Michelle also addressed the rumors about their separate public appearances. She dismissed gossip, pointing out that as a couple in their sixties, they embrace privacy. Just because they don’t share every date or selfie doesn’t mean something’s broken. She called the obsession with documenting life online a distortion of reality, not proof of marital trouble.

Fighting Stereotypes—And Fertile Ground for Rumor

Their candidness about marital “hard times” counters false narratives. Michelle explained that when society expects constant joint appearances, it misreads personal boundaries. She stressed that making choices for her own peace—like skipping high-profile events—is about self-respect, not marital fracturing.

Rediscovering Love and Partnership

The Obamas’ reflections offer something more hopeful: marriage as an evolving partnership. Barack expressed gratitude for Michelle’s support as a parent and partner, and Michelle credited their shared efforts to work on their relationship. They’ve rebuilt intimacy through deliberate time together, echoing lessons from their memoirs, like Becoming and The Light We Carry.

You might also want to read: Michelle Obama: Why I’m in Therapy Now